Blessings

The last 7 weeks have certainly not been my easiest. In fact, they've been some of the hardest of my life. And I feel like all I've been doing is complaining, especially on this blog. Of course, I know it's my blog and I can say what I want. As I've said before, it's been very therapeutic for me. And I hope that if at least one person who may be going through a similar situation reads it and it helps them, I'm happy with that.

Last night in the support group, a new couple came. They shared their story of losing their son at 34 weeks and how she almost lost her life too. The husband shared that he feels like he can't really grieve because he's so happy that his wife is alive and healthy. He's thankful for her life. Of course he's sad about their loss, but said he was just so grateful she was ok. This really got me thinking about my blessings. I don't talk about them nearly enough.

First of all, Sean. I know I've mentioned it many times before, but he's been my rock. My #1 supporter. I really couldn't ask for a better partner. He's there in the good times and the awful times. He's always there to listen to my craziness and my anxiety. He keeps me calm (or at least, he tries). He keeps me grounded, a lot of the time. He supports me in all aspects. He's been supportive and understanding during the last 2 years of grad school. I don't think I would have been able to even go if it weren't for him. He's appreciative of me. He loves me. I love that man..more than I can possibly say and am so thankful for him every day.

My friends. So many of my friends have been checking in on me. Offering their support. A lot of my classmates I consider friends and have been very supportive. Even though after we move back home, I'll probably never see most of them again (which, makes me sad) I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me that they were there during my darkest hour. I'll never forget that and will always be thankful. I'm glad that we live in a day where I can still keep in touch with all of them, even if I never actually see them again.

My mom. Even though she's 1100 miles away, she's been great. She listens to me cry. She encourages me. She reassures me. I know my mom is still hurting too, but she tries to put that on the back burner when we talk about it. I want to make her a grandmother so bad. And I will. And she knows I will. My mom will be one of the few people who will know when we get pregnant again and I can't wait to involve her in every aspect of it. I want her to be there for ultrasounds.

There are so many more things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that we have insurance. I'm thankful that I'm able to get answers. I'm thankful we get to try again. I'm thankful I'm graduating in 42 days. I can't wait to work again.

Sean and I will be closing the New Jersey chapter of our life very soon, and I honestly can't wait to start the next one. It's going to be great.