It's like Melrose Place...except not at all

I hate my apartment complex. But you know the saying 'You get what you pay for'? Yeah, it's true, most of the time.

Sean and I moved out here blindly. We weren't able to look at apartments or anything, so we picked our complex based on the website and Sean's co-workers review of the area. Plus, it was the cheapest place we could find, which honestly was the biggest draw.

Anyway, we have some weirdos and assholes that live here.

Let's start with our upstairs neighbors. Category: Assholes. Things were fine when we first moved in. They even let us park the truck in their spot when we were moving in. Then, about 2 months after living here, we had this passive aggressive note that basically said to stop slamming the door at all hours of the night because it "shakes the building." Uh, really? We weren't slamming it, number one. Number two, we weren't up all hours of the night shutting the door. And number three...our door is shitty. You have to be a little forceful to get it to latch.

Also, we live in a one bedroom, 750 sq foot apartment. But, that doesn't stop our wonderful upstairs neighbors from hosting every holiday. And I'm not kidding. They have their family come over, which includes kids. And the kids run around all day. And their relatives stomp around like elephants. Last Thanksgiving was like that. Last Christmas we had to bang on the wall for them to shut up and then they have the nerve to ring our doorbell. Like we were going to answer. How about you not host your family when you live in a small ass apartment?

Our next door neighbor, Screamy or Loudy, is annoying. She talks loud on her phone all day. She tans in the common "yard" which is weird. Even when it's 70 degrees in September. She sits out on her yard chair and tans. She has a daughter and they make dance videos in the yard. She dresses like she's 13 although I'm pretty sure she's in her 40s.

We also have a neighbor who we call Curby. He sits on the curb next to the dumpsters every day and drinks a coke and smokes. He is super creepy. He also pees in the bushes, when he could just go in his apartment and pee.

Hoardy is our next neighbor. He's a hoarder. Legit. If you walk around to the back of the building, you know which patio is his because it's full of junk. Chairs, kitty litter containers, you name it. He also has two trucks that he keeps full of shit. I'm not sure either one runs. He also has like 147 plants on his front patio. He has a dog, but I'm not sure where the dog sleeps. I'm not sure where he sleeps.

Crazy Cat Lady also lives here. She put notes in everyone's mail box that said LOST CAT? CONTACT MY CRAZY ASS AT THIS NUMBER. (Not verbatim, of course). This bitch feeds strays. I mean, I love animals and all, but you don't feed strays. Cuz now these damn strays won't go away. For a while, she was feeding the cat next to a tree. It had a dish bowl for food and water. Well, someone else got fed up with it and threw the bowls in the street. So now? She keeps the bowls under her van. Because I mean, how else will a stray cat survive?

We have some redneck neighbors. But, unlike all of our other neighbors, they are super nice. We like them actually. She's always wearing sweats and he's always wearing camo. I think we're drawn to them because they remind us of home, lol.

Anyway, I so can't wait to move back to Columbia. At least it won't be blind. And I already know Columbia. Where to live. But more important, where NOT to live. Even if we have crazies as our neighbors in Columbia, at least we'll have more space and actual friends to vent to.