I remember having a conversation with my mom when I was 20 or so...saying that I didn't really think I wanted to have kids. But, who actually knows what they want at 20? Not many.
As the years went on, the idea of having children became more appealing. Once I met Sean...I knew I wanted to have his babies.
Jump to the end of October. I stopped taking the pill...and we were gonna just see what happens. After I didn't get a period my first month..I thought... Wow, maybe I could be one of those lucky people that just gets pregnant automatically and it'll be great. Negative pregnancy test. This fun little cycle went on for the next 3 months.
Jump to this past Monday. I had an appointment with my doctor. I was due for my annual visit anyway, but also...no period for 4 months. Based on my history and my current symptoms, my doctor suspected that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). You can google it, if you like, to get the specifics...but basically my body is bad at producing the right amount of hormones, so they are all out of whack. This causes all sorts of fun things. Luckily, I don't have any of the body hair producing symptoms, but it is the reason why I haven't had a period in 4 months. Also, it causes fertility issues. Great.
She took a couple of vials of blood to confirm her suspicion. There isn't a test for PCOS...but your hormone levels indicate it, basically. I got the call today that her suspicion was right. I was hoping she'd be wrong.
So, now I have to take Metformin (which is a medicine diabetics take). I'm not sure how, but it may help level out my hormones. I also need to lose weight. But, I'm working on this anyway, so that's a moot point. Between the medicine and the weight loss...I hope that my levels get to where they need to be and my body starts ovulating. Otherwise, I'll be on to fertility medicine.
Add this to the pile of things Sean and I haven't had easy. I mean, good lord. Can we not catch any breaks...anywhere? Nothing seems to be easy. After my appointment on Monday, I cried. For a good 10 minutes, at least. I feel like less of a woman. I feel really discouraged.
But I have to keep going. I have no other choice. We both want to start a family and both determined. I just have to keep telling myself this...
You and I are in the same boat kiddo. Thats the same thing I have :( And well you know what a long and heart breaking road mine has been. Just so you know, Met is brutal. I would suggest that if you aren't planning on actively trying to get preggers right away you might not want to put yourself through it. Im also with an all natural holistic doctor right now, and they suggest Inositol- much gentler on the digestive tract. Im here whenever you need me <3 xoxo
ReplyDeleteI tooK Metformin for years for my diabetes with no problem. I was taking max dosage of 8 pills/day. You need to make sure you eat when you take it or you will have stomach issues and your pharmacist should point that out to you. I always took mine with breakfast and dinner and had no problem. No I am on needles though.
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith, and seriously work on lowering your stress level. You have to come to grips with not being able to be in control of everything in life and it keeps the stress down. Things will go the way they are supposed to.
If you need anything let me know.
I'm so sorry you are going through what you are going through. With this and with everything with Sean's job. I'm just so sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Deb. I know it's easier said than done, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I went through it for 9 years.
Right now you need to focus on you and only you. Take care of your health, both physically and mentally and you will be okay. I promise. And I also promise that your time will come.
Maybe take some yoga classes, or even go to the library and get some meditation books and DVD's. Just find your Zen girl. Hang in there!
You know you can text me or call me anytime. I'm always here for you.