Hold up, weight a minute...

Let's talk about weight. I have too much of it.

It's been a life-long struggle for me. I'm not one of those people who was "always skinny" until after high school. I actually don't know what it feels like to be "skinny." I started gaining weight around 8 or 9 years old. I've tried several diets before.

The summer before my senior year of high school, I did the atkins diet. I felt great when I went back to school because I had lost some weight. But then school started, I starting seeing carbs again and it was all over. I continued to gain weight my freshman year of college. Mainly because a diet of spaghetti Os and Ramen Noodles does that. After I moved out of the dorms and in with my friend, Jeremy, we kind of got obsessed with Old Chicago. Good lord, I love Old Chicago. We would sometimes go two times a day and get the chicken tenders dinner, a cesar salad and cheesecake. TWICE a day.

Eventually we realized we had a problem and made up our own diet. And we both lost quite a bit of weight. Then...I started dating my ex. And got comfortable. And the weight came back. After I moved to KC, I gained even more weight because I was eating non-stop. It eventually came to a point where I said...enough is enough. I joined Weight Watchers.

I love Weight Watchers. I lost 60 pounds. I felt amazing. I then got a new job and got off the wagon. But I didn't gain a lot back right away. Maybe 10 pounds or so. Then...my ex and I broke up. But when I started dating, I still was thinner than I had been so I was getting dates! I felt good about myself! When Sean and I started dating, I slowly got off the wagon for good. Gained almost all the weight back. When we got engaged last November, I knew I wanted to lose weight for the wedding. So, I joined Weight Watchers again and lost 30 pounds.

That 30 pounds has since come back. I'm really tired of playing this game. I need to step up. I don't want my children to be overweight. Or see me overweight. I want to be active with them. And I want Sean & I to have a long life together.

So, we've started going to the gym again. I'm trying to watch what I eat. I would love to join Weight Watchers again, but can't swing it financially right now. But I have the information. I have the calculator. I can do it. I have to do it.

So, I'm on the journey, yet again. I just want to feel good about myself again. I've done it before and I know I can do it again.