Patience is something that I have to constantly work on. It's never been my strong suit - at least, not in my personal life. When I'm working, I have great patience with clients. You HAVE to have it in social work. Why can I not transfer this to my personal life? Why can't I just enjoy the ride?
I've been thinking a lot about this recently. Even if Sean and I rent a movie, I will sometimes look up the synopsis on IMDB. Because I can't wait to know how it ends! How ridiculous is that?? But, looking back, my patience has always been lacking. I'm not really sure where it stems from. It's not like my childhood was filled with trips and things to look forward to. Growing up poor doesn't really give you that luxury. But then again...maybe that *is* where it stems from. The few times I did have something to look forward to, it was unbearable because it was a treat. I don't know. I'm probably grasping at straws.
Sean and I are visiting home in about 2 weeks and the wait has been ridiculous for me. We were just home in March, but I can't wait to go again. School starts at the beginning of September and part of me wishes it was sooner - because I'm ready to graduate. Graduating means continuing my career. Graduating means moving. Graduating means figuring out our next steps. Once school starts though, I'm sure I'll be wishing for a break. And the time will fly by so fast, it will be here before I know it.
Sean and I are also taking steps toward figuring out another aspect of our life. On August 13th, we have an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist. After 8 months of long cycles and no ovulating, we're ready to pursue testing. Part of me still hopes my body is still recuperating after being on the pill. But the more time that goes by, the less I'm thinking that. The impatient part of me wants all of the testing to be over. It, of course, is going to be more tedious for me. I just want to know the official diagnosis. I want to know our plan. I want our baby in my arms. But, I need to enjoy the ride. I need to be patient. They do say the best things in life are worth waiting for, right?
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