A 5K on the GWB?! That sounds awesome!

About 2 months, I participated in a relay race. At the end of said race, they had a bunch of advertisements for upcoming runs. I was immediately attracted to the pamphlet for the George Washington Bridge 5K.

"A run where you actually run on one of the most traveled bridges in the world? AND you can see the city?! Yes, to all of that" Clearly, my Midwestern mind is still easily amused. So, Sean and I signed up. Weeks leading up to the run, we kept receiving emails - ya know, the usual. Course map, where to park, event info, etc. The emails kept stating that they were going to have over 2500 people there. It was the 25th anniversary! It was going to be great!

Well. That was... not how it went. First of all, I was freaking out because we were running 10 minutes late. Shit! We aren't going to be on time! We planned to meet a friend (who also ran the 5K) at a rest stop nearby. We did that and got to the assigned parking lot for runners.. We had to wait in line about 5-7 minutes to park...not bad. Registration started at 7am. We got to the parking lot around 7. I was still cool though, because shuttles were supposed to run every 10 minutes! We'll get there! Uh, wrong.

We start walking to the line for the shuttle and it.was.long. We stood in line for FORTY minutes before enough shuttles came around to get us. (BTW...a shuttle every 10 minutes? LIES!) AND the parking lot had three different lines.By the time we got to the start, it was 7:50. The race was supposed to start at 7:45. But I was still pretty cool. We'll start when we start, I thought. We all had our phones to map our route/time. But...it was pretty obvious once we got there that no one had started yet.

We had found the tent to pick up our bibs and shoe timing chip. They had it divided by letters for last names. We all got in the same line for pick up. And we stood there. And stood there. There were SUPPOSED to be 3 different lines, but everyone was just kind of in a big pile, sorta in lines. It was confusion. Then we hear that the race isn't going to start until 9 now. By this point, my bladder is about to explode. I make my way to the porta potties and I shit you not (pun totally intended) there were SIX porta potties for HUNDREDS of people. The line for the porta potties curved around in a U shape. I decide to stand in line because a) my bladder is gonna explode and b) it's either I stand in line here or over in the other line.

After a few minutes, Sean and our friend came over with pink wrist bands. Apparently, they offered these writs bands to people who "didn't mind not being timed." This wrist band got you lunch after the race. They took the wrist bands and Sean got (cut) in the line for the bathrooms. Eventually a lady came over and gave me a tip that a building nearby had no waiting on bathrooms. Our friend decides to get back in the line for the bibs and timing chips because...this is bullshit. We paid money...we should get to do this. And we had 20 minutes before the race started.

Side note: That bathroom was waaaay worse than a porta potty. It had paper towels stuffed in the toilet and it smelled like someone mopped the floor with piss.

So, eventually we get our bibs, numbers and we're ready to go. Although...the majority of people had already started. Now, let me say that the Runners were supposed to start at 7:45 and the walkers were supposed to start at 8:30. This was 9ish and everyone started. So...we run. And people aren't getting out of the way to let runners pass. And people are stopping on the bridge to take pictures. Also...at a certain point on the track...they start letting the shuttle buses on the same path as us. Which was awesome. (The end was at a park). But, I got it done in 38 minutes...which is am improvement for me. (Last 5K I did in about 45 minutes...)

 So, we get our tshirts, eat our food and are ready to go home. Guess what?! We have to stand in yet another long ass line for the shuttles back to the car. So, we wait. And wait. But, the wait wasn't as long as the first time. They had two separate lines for the shuttles (for different parking lots). Our line was much much longer than the other. And when our line kept getting the shuttles, people in the other line literally start screaming. And kept screaming. It was ridiculous.

We get on a bus. This time, had to stand on it. And the bus driver was the worst. She kept making sudden brakes. Which is fun when you're standing up on a bus. At least there were rails to hold on to. Except that the rails were filthy.

So...that's my story. I do intend on writing the organizer of this run because it was clustertastic fuck. If this were the first year, I'd understand. You're still working out the kinks. But...your 25th year? No. I heard people saying that past years had never been like this and apparently this year it was a new route and a new person organizing it. We have a saying back home... "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

And now I bring you... the most random swag bag of all time.

 This was the NASTIEST thing I have ever had. Ok so yeah...licorice. That sounds good.

 It looks ok.

 UNTIL YOU TEAR IT IN HALF AND IT LOOKS LIKE A DOG TREAT! By the way...Tank ate it.

Proof.