Definitely Something Hormonal...

On the third day of my cycle (which was Tuesday), I had to go in for bloodwork to check my hormone levels.

On Wednesday, Sean went in for his semen analysis.

The good news is we aren't dealing with both male and female fertility issues. Sean's analysis came back normal, so that is definitely good news. Not that I was worried about that since ya know...his semen isn't the reason I'm having long cycles.

When I went in for my bloodwork, the tech said "We'll call you only if there's something wrong." So I was a nervous wreck the whole day, of course. Around 2:30, my phone said I got a voicemail and it was them. For whatever reason, my phone didn't ring. I couldn't get them on the phone the rest of the day. That night was the worst night. I had a massive melt down. Poor Sean gets the brunt of my crazy.

The next day, I finally got them on the phone. All of my levels were normal, except my lutenizing hormone (LH). I make too much. There's another hormone that's involved, FSH, which basically checks your egg quality/age. That is normal. In theory, your LH:FSH ratio should be 1:1. Mine is 3:1. This came up on bloodwork I had done 6 months ago. Because of this, the physician's assistant said "There's definitely something hormonal going on.." She then when on to say that the Clomid should help me ovulate.

So, next Thursday is my ultrasound & bloodwork day to see if this dose of clomid works on me. I hope so! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

And so it starts....

Overshare time! I got my period yesterday! Yay! (Thanks, Provera!)

Now, normally, when us ladies who are trying to conceive, a period is a sad time. Frustrating, even. But, for women like me, it marks a new beginning into my journey. I'm excited, anxious...everything else you can think of. Plus, it ended a 100 day cycle, which is cray.

So, here's how it's going to go down:

Tomorrow (Cycle Day 3): Go in for bloodwork & start Clomid
Cycle Day 4-7: Take 50mg of Clomid daily
Cycle Day 12: Go in for bloodwork & ultrasound.

The purpose of the ultrasound and bloodwork is to see if I responded to the Clomid. They also want to make sure that if I did respond, I'm not going to release a ton of eggs (That's rare and since it's my first month...I'm not expecting much).

I'm hopeful, but also realistic. Of course it would be nice to get pregnant on my first round of Clomid. But...since I'm realistic, I'm not going to hold my breath. At this point, I'll be happy if I respond to it. So c'mon ovaries...help a girl out!

28

Today is my birthday. I'm 28. Do you ever think back on when you were a kid/teenager and you pictured what you would be like "grown up?" I do. I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be, but I'm glad I'm here.

When I was a teenager, I never thought I would get married. Self-esteem was not my thing, back then. But luckily, I found a wonderful man to share my birthdays with. I never thought I'd be going to Grad School, but I'm doing that too. I have great friends and a great family.

As I start a new year in my life, I have some things I'd like to accomplish as a 28 year old. They are as follows:

1. Obtain my MSW. I'm half-way done with my program. I know this year is going to be challenging, but I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait until I can call myself a social worker, get my SW license and start working again.

2. Move home. It's been real, New Jersey, but it's time for this Mid-Western Gal to go home. You know how sometimes all signs point to yes? Well, in this case...all signs point to NO for us to be in New Jersey. I feel like there are very few times in life where the universe tells you what to do. This is one of those cases. We plan to move home as soon as possible after I graduate.

3. Get pregnant & have a baby. I'm ready to be a mommy. I'm ready to build my family and take this next step in my life. I will continue to blog about our fertility journey here, so stay tuned for that.

4. Reconnect with old friends. We plan to move to Columbia, MO and I have a lot of friends there that I have lost touch with over the years. I plan to fix that. Living so far away from everyone has made me realize that I have taken a lot of people for granted.

5. Continue to get healthy. Over the years, I've slowly taken steps to get healthy. While I have continued to yo-yo my weight, I've picked up good habits along the way. So, I want to lose 30 pounds in the next year and better yet, maintain said weight loss (of course, if I have a baby...this will happen post-partum).

Ok, 28 year-old. You have a lot of things to do. You should probably get on that.

I know I'm not in Kansas anymore, but...

I got called Dorothy yesterday. DOROTHY. I had to go to orientation for my internship and where I'm from came up. "Kansas City," I said. Literally his follow up question was "Your name isn't Dorothy?"

Seriously, people. I swear, anytime I say I'm from Kansas City, they hear Kansas and think this:

Or this, apparently...

First of all...look at a map. Kansas City? Barely in Kansas. And there are certainly no farms in Kansas City proper.

Second of all, most of us Mid-Western folk have all of our teeth. We don't all vote Republican. We're not all farmers. We don't all have that southern draw (I know I do...a little. But it's not bad). We're not all racist or homophobic. (Disclaimer: I know there are racists and bigots in any part of the country. I'm just sayin...)

I don't have an Auntie Em. Or an Uncle Henry. And I don't go on adventures with a Scarecrow, Tin Man or Talking Lion. I do have a little dog, but Tank is way cuter than Toto. And I'd never wear sparkly shoes.

I can't even tell you how annoying it is. It's basically the same as me saying: "Oh you're from New Jersey? Why don't you have a blow out and a tan?" Why aren't you wearing leopard print and falling down?:

I know the training guy was joking around. But after a year of that, it's enough. It's old. One time during a class exercise, we were asked "If you had to flee somewhere in an hour, what would you grab?" It was implied that I would provide the guns because ya know...KANSAS.

Guns scare me. I've never shot one.

I can't wait to move home.

My Fallopian Tubes, Myself

Well...I never thought I'd be blogging about my Fallopian Tubes & Uterus. I had my HSG test today to make sure my tubes aren't blocked.

Good news! They aren't!

News that may or may not be bad: My Uterus is not shaped normally. It's shaped more like a Y than a triangle, or upside down pear. From Dr. Google, the medical term is " bicornuate uterus." My doctor doesn't seemed too concerned about it at this point. It could cause issues, such as miscarriage or pre-term labor. Or it may not. He seemed to think it was "minor" and we would go on with the plan as intended.

So, Sean has his analysis on the 29th and I'll start Clomid after my next period.

Side Story: I almost passed out at the Radiology office! I was fine during the procedure. Just a little discomfort - felt more like cramps. I got up, put my pants back on and all of that. I was walking to the waiting room when all of a sudden, things were getting spotty and my hearing was going. I got hot all of a sudden. I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes until I felt ok. As I was walking out, I I stopped to get a drink of water and as I was walking up the stairs, it happened again. I sat in my car with the A/C blasted until I felt ok. I feel fine now. Apparently, fainting is rare but can happen. Also...this happens to me a few times a year, so who knows.

So, now you know the workings of my reproductive organs. You're welcome.

Our Plan for Baby Makin'

For the majority of folks, unprotected sex = baby. But, for some of us, we actually need a little help and a plan. Today, Sean and I got our plan.

We met with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). He was very nice, which is always a plus. He asked for each of our histories and he gave us a lot of information. Here is how the plan is gonna go:

Thursday, August 16th: I have to go in for an HSG test. Basically, this is where a dye will be inserted in my uterus and they check to make sure my tubes aren't blocked. It sounds unpleasant, but apparently I'll only feel discomfort for a few minutes.

Wednesday, August 29th: Sean goes in for a semen analysis. Self explanatory.

If both of these tests come back normal, I will start Clomid after my next cycle starts. I will take Clomid cycle days 3-7. In theory, this medicine will make me ovulate. Of course, my body may not respond and we may need to increase the dose. There's always the possibility that my body may not like Clomid and I'll have to try another medicine. With this medicine comes a lot of monitoring. I'll have to go in on cycle day 3 and 12 for monitoring. I'll have to get bloodwork & ultrasounds. Basically, they want to make sure that I am ovulating and that I'm not making too many eggs. You know I am not trying to have a Jon & Kate plus 8 situation.

So, that is what will be involved in the next 3-4 months. If I'm not pregnant, we will move on to another medicine and more treatments. For now, I just have to hope that Clomid will help me and I will be pregnant by the holidays. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

There's no place like home...

As cliche as it sounds, there really is no place like home.

Last week, Sean and I were in Kansas City, Columbia & Laddonia. Three places where I spent the majority of my life. I was so happy we were able to go home to visit. We drove, which was an interesting experience. We took turns driving and got there in about 20 hours. We brought Tank with us this time, because last time we went home...we missed our baby!

Our first stop was Kansas City. We stayed with our friends, Melissa & Adam. They recently had a baby, Norah, who is just the cutest. It definitely made my baby fever intensify, but I'm so happy for them. Hell, maybe my ovaries will start to work after spending time with a baby. Certainly couldn't hurt. While in Kansas City, Sean and I visited some of our favorite restaurants/stores. We also stocked up on our Chiefs swag. I saw some old co-workers. We spent some time with Sean's family.

After a few days in Kansas City, we went to Columbia. We spent time with one of my all-time favorite people, Jeremy. We went to Six Flags, which of course was fun. But of course, it was like 102 degrees that day. But it was still good times. Jeremy showed us some new stuff happening around Columbia.

Side story about Columbia: I lived there for 4 years with Jeremy. It was while I was an undergrad and it was some of the best times I've ever had. After I broke things off with the ex, I planned to move back there. Once I met Sean, though, those plans changed. But, Sean has fallen in love with Columbia too.

After Columbia, we spent our last few days with my mom and step-dad. I got to see an old friend...which was nice. I hate going to the town where my mom and step-dad lives because it's a depressing little town. I don't have a lot of good memories from there. So usually when we go, we stay at my mom's and don't really venture out. But, it was still good to see my mom and step-dad.

We've officially decided what we're going to do: WE'RE MOVING HOME! Specifically, we're moving to Columbia. Sean wants to try something other than Kansas City and I've always loved Columbia. So, once I graduate in May, we're heading back.

It's funny. When Sean and I decided to move to New Jersey, we thought we would fit in better, or something. Turns out, sometimes you're meant to be where you are. Unfortunately, it took us two years, a lot of money loss and some stress to figure that out. But, I don't regret moving to New Jersey. I'd rather know than not know. And I've met some great people here. But, honestly, I really can't wait to be back in Missouri. I miss my home. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss feeling like I belong. I'm going to get all of those back when we move.

The plan is to get out of dodge (aka Jersey) as soon as possible after I graduate. Even if that means paying double rent for a few months (our lease here is up at the end of July) that's what we're going to do. We're coming home!